10 New Year’s Resolutions For Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Copy of Copy of Follow your dreams

The New Year represents renewal, new beginnings, and a clean slate. It rests in our hands like a blank book. What will you write for the next chapter of your life?

If 2016 has painfully reminded us of anything, it’s that life is short. Tomorrow is never promised. Every day is precious. Much too precious and valuable to be spent disconnected from yourself, walking on eggshells, living for others, and settling for a life less than the one you deserve.

Happy New Year my friends. Hope your 2017 brings you many blessings, peace, and freedom.

Cheers,

Bree

img_9351-1Bree Bonchay, LCSW, is a psychotherapist with over 18 years of experience working in the field of mental health and trauma recovery. She specializes in helping people recover from toxic relationships and shares her insights about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and psychopathy in her blog FreeFromToxic. Her articles have been featured in major online magazines and she has appeared on radio as a guest expert. She is also a dedicated advocate, educator, and facilitates survivor support groups and workshops.

Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2gCyYyL

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The Truth About Getting Closure With A Narcissist

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The concept of closure means different things to people. We can’t see it, touch it, or even agree on exactly what it is, but so many survivors of narcissistic abuse hang their whole relationship recovery on getting it. Unfortunately, you never get anything that resembles real closure with a narcissist. And even those folks who don’t want their ex back still believe it will help them to feel better, and make it easier for them to move forward if they could get closure in the form of knowing that their ex-narcissist misses them, wants them back or is at least sorry.

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What You Need To Know About Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

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For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, recovery is a slow, frustrating, and tedious process. The frequent complaints of pain and emotional distress are often dismissed by loved ones, and even mental health professionals as malingering, and a lack of desire to heal and get better.  However, recent trauma research indicates that these complaints are the direct result of the real physiological damage done to survivors, while they were exposed to the prolonged emotional, and psychological trauma of an abusive relationship.

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A Simple Remedy For Feeling Better After Narcissistic Abuse

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If you’re struggling to heal from and move on after narcissistic abuse, you’re probably frustrated that it’s taking so long. Healing from narcissistic abuse is so much more complicated than healing from a regular break up. This is why the typical breakup advice and tips not only don’t work, but often times leave you feeling even worse off, and wondering if something is wrong with you. The popular breakup wisdom that advises you, that you will feel better if you find a new hobby, and change up your hairstyle, doesn’t help you to get over it any faster. The common remedies for a broken heart fall short because they don’t address the broken spirit, mind-bending confusion, cognitive dissonance, unanswered questions, lack of closure, and the callous, post-discard behavior characteristic of break ups with narcissists.

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“I Am Free” A Cautionary Warning And An Illuminating Light

Front cover graphicI Am Free: Healing Stories About Toxic Relationships With Narcissists And Sociopaths

I Am Free, the title of this book embodies its core message. For anyone who has the misfortune of being embroiled in a toxic love relationship, or family relationship, the essays shared by other survivors can serve as encouragement that escape is possible. None of the contributors sugar-coated their experiences, or the degree of effort that it took to survive, leave, and heal from such traumatic relationships.

Time and again, these writers shared that, charmed by their partner, they ignored their inner voices when those early alarm bells rang. Many of these individuals were well-educated, and had successful careers, until… they sank into the quicksand of toxic partnership.

These stories are brutally honest, and chronicle the careful grooming process, so typical, of these kinds of unhealthy, and damaging relationships. This makes for a challenging read, AND IT IS IMPORTANT that they are read as both a cautionary warning, and an illuminating light, so that others might escape, and/or avoid the perils that these stories narrate.

Written from the heart of survivors of narcissistic abuse, this collection of stories and poems will empower readers dealing with the aftermath of a toxic relationship, and serve as a wake-up call to those who are in —or think they may be in— an abusive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath.

I Am Free validates and inspires the victims of toxic relationships with the experiences of people from all walks of life —featuring both women and men, who have found the courage to survive abusive relationships, either as adults or as children raised by narcissists, and sociopaths. These vignettes are heavy, raw, and painful, but the ultimate message is one of hope —that it is possible to gain happiness, and freedom after narcissistic abuse.

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Here are just a few of the reviews.

By Melissa408on May 23, 2016
Inspiration, validation and hope after darkness

If you are coming out a relationship with a narc/sociopath, it’s likely that you are feeling confused, crazy, lonely, angry, anxious, paranoid, lost, shame and even hopeless. The more research you do, the more the cognitive dissonance kicks in, the more you ignore your gut and rationalize that your partner could not be a narcissist. Loneliness and isolation are what “victims” feel so this is the book you need to read. Unlike other books, “I Am Free” incorporates data from NPD with real life, relatable stories from fellow survivors that are both uplifting and validating. This book is the loving, supportive, compassionate, understanding, friend we all desired following the aftermath of our breakup. For most of us, our friends and family couldn’t help us they way we needed. Only fellow survivors can. I love that this book will help spread self-love and compassion after trauma. This is also a book for anyone who has had loved on in a toxic relationship and can’t seem to understand why he/she “doesn’t just leave” and “get over it.”

By Shelby Richardson May 20, 2016
Wow! Excellent book, highly recommend it, exactly what I needed to set myself free!

This book has helped me in so many ways, strongly recommend it. We are victims that need to learn we are also survivors and we need to know we can and will survive it, one day at a time. The best way to learn to survive is learning all you can, and I have been following Bree for a long while now, to help understand, educate, and learn exactly how to set myself free. I AM FREE now, is a wonderful book to help, couldn’t  put it down. So glad to see others recover and read success stories, I found my way now and join me by finally being able to not only read I am Free but to say it and finally mean it that I survived and I AM FREE!!! 5 STARS

By Reader of all sorts on June 6, 2016
Stories And Truth Are Not Shared Over Coffee; No One Believes Them. This Book Will Change That…

Caught in the crosshairs of the cruel drama of damaging families and/or spouses, the sane individual becomes an innocent receptacle for incomprehensible devaluation. The thing is, they don’t even know why these people treat them so and accept that they are powerless. Stories and truth are not shared over coffee; no one believes them. The Malignant Narcissist has fooled the world until now, flashing his most charming facade at the rest of you and expects to continue to hide his enraged self as he has always done; lists of “traits” might give others a clue, but they can continue to hide in plain sight if that’s all you know. This book will change that.

“I AM FREE”, a collection of stories and poetry gathered by Bree Bonchay, tells others in similar relationships that what they are experiencing is real, has a name and is being met by indignation, support and validation in a world which formerly looked the other way, or worse, blamed the strength of those who battled to rise above the vindictiveness of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in their own lives. The words within this book, powerful and insightful, show the facility of these individuals to break free to a SELF-DEFINED reality, to understand those so disordered who nearly broke them and to want to help others by openly sharing how they endured the worst that everyday monstrous manipulators bring – and can say, “I AM FREE” to live, to love and share their unbelievable, true tales.

For more information about World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day and to find out how you can get involved go to. WNAAD

7 Interesting Facts About The Book, “I Am Free”

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The very first edition of I Am Free: Healing Stories of Surviving Toxic Relationships With Narcissists and Sociopaths will be available to purchase on April 30, 2016, or May 1, 2016, depending on where you live in the world. I will be posting a link to where you can purchase the book (tomorrow) on my public Facebook Forum page. Find out some interesting facts about the book, and how you can personally get involved, and join the campaign to help raise awareness about narcissistic abuse. (more…)

Getting Over A Relationship With A Narcissist

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I bet you have asked yourself this question at least a hundred times, “Why is it so hard to get over the narcissist in my life?”. It probably doesn’t make much sense to you why you’re struggling so hard, to move on from someone, whose rap sheet of wrongdoings toward you is a mile long. It should be easy to let go of someone who has caused you so much pain… right? Well, not really, when you understand the interplay of factors that contribute to the concept of cognitive dissonance. (more…)

Poison Control: Why You Should Take The “My” Out of “My Ex-Narcissist”

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” What a huge lie we all grew up with on the playground at school. Actions may speak louder than words, but words DO hurt us, even our own. They also have the power to influence or destroy, liberate or enslave, encourage or shatter, and attach or disconnect.

Perhaps, that’s why I just cringe every time I hear someone or myself say, “MY ex-narcissist.” I recognize that many people might think I am making a big to-do about these 3 little words, but every word we say matters. Words are so important; even more than we realize. They literally shape our perceptions and our inner reality. The words we choose, not only have a gigantic impact on our listeners but on ourselves as well.

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Tips & Tricks To Move On After Narcissistic Abuse

Breaking up with a narcissist reminds me of my experience with childbirth. It’s scary. It hurts like hell. It’s not something you can ever really prepare for. You feel nervous, afraid and a little relieved. You have no idea what to expect. You’re thrust into unfamiliar terrain and filled with fear of the unknown. When you’re faced with an overwhelming life challenge and feel completely ill-equipped and unprepared to deal with it, you just have to have a little thing called faith, or what I call finding your Bertha.

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